Wednesday, October 24, 2007

Jurgen Klinsmann: Tottenham Manager

Next up then on the conveyor belt of improbable probables is our old mukka, Jurgen Ze German, AKA Jay Goppingen, AKA The Commuter, I give you... Jurgen Klinsmann.

Allegedly already approached before today by both Roman Abramovich and Daniel Levy. After a more than credible World Cup as the German coach he was plauded by his nation, football journos and even absolved of 'niggles various' by Franz Beckenbauer.

Levy realises that ANGRY MOB appeasement issues exist with Jol and should he have to cut him, then it must appear that his hand was forced and that his replacement is a bright, shiny and better thing. Caesar must not lose the crowd.

Inspirational football man. Lights up rooms ala Stevie Nicks lyrics.
Tactically astute.
Middle aged Hugo Boss poster boy.

Wholly unproven as a club manager.
Will need more than a Travel Card to get to work.
Publicly stated he doesn't dig the management structure we and others employ.

Harry's SIGNHIMOMETER is nudging an 8.5


Anonymous said...

Harry I love your work, especially when you post match highlight videos, but I think I'm going to have to stop coming here. Your page is just about the biggest, most bandwidth heavy page in the universe, takes 5 minutes to load on my rubbish work internet connection, and it's nearly ALL adverts! There is a law of diminishing returns with adverts and you've crossed the event horizon. The mass is too great, I have to break free before it's too late!

Anonymous said...

unproven... but might be a risk worth taking.
I'm sure the players would respect him and play for him, which is something I don't think any of them did on Monday night.

Anonymous said...

i just hope jurgen, mark hughes or who ever it is can realise that teemu tainio is absolute crap and sends him off to belgium or the like. guy cant even run with the ball. shite man. give the young french flair ago before this nong.

Anonymous said...

Say what you like about tainio, at least the guy makes positive moves upfield with the ball. Jenas, Zokora and Huddlestone all seem to forget where the opposing team's goal is.

RobbyK said...

Cant fault that pairing from 10:23 - Taino and Belgian football... thats a perfect match.

What about Jenas and Haiti 'B' team, or Dawson and the NBA xmas soccer 11 (if there is such a thing...there should be, be better than watching spurs at the mo).

Klismann'd park the volkswagon infront of the goal and anyway...Alan Sugar'd certainly stop coming to watch...shame.

COYS- 3 on the trot coming up, Berba back to a bit of form and we all feel like panicky asses.

Harry Hotspur said...


I've crossed the event horizon, eh? Cor.

You only just stopped short of telling me I was 'unfit for purpose.'

Lighten up.
Try this...¤t=MonkeyJoke.flv

Anonymous said...

Playing out of position with an out of sorts manager, any player would struggle. I would not wish to knock any player at this moment as we are in enough trouble already!

I can only hope and pray that we appoint someone else quickly. And that person knows how to get the best out of his players. Then we will see an improvement from our team. All the knocking is just making things worse.

If Ramos has really been offered millions to come here, then I don't think he will want to wait to long. Unfortunately I believe that coaching a team in the Champs League is just keeping him out for a little longer.

I would love to see Klinnsman appointed. His natural charisma and the respect he would have from players such as Berbatov, I think would see us flying high. Hughes is another who inspires effort from his players, just hope he doesn't bring Savage with him!

Be positive people! this is just a glitch and better times are ahead!

Harry Hotspur for Coach! COYS!

Anonymous said...

Anon 10.19 get a f*cking life. Ads are the way of the world. Next you'll be telling us you only watch BBC and don't but magazines or newspapers....zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.

And get a job where they have real machines.

Anonymous said...

Dont think we should be talking about a new manager, We can be confident there are lots of good managers free at the moment, If worst happens someone good will come in to replace jol, But I think we should all debate, how long does jol have left? many speaking of the next 3 games a key? which for me makes sense, failure in any of these could be bye byes. what does everyone else think how long can we afford to wait?

Anonymous said...

Jurgen is not proven at club level but just his precence at white heart lane again would lift the whole club. Also think he aint a bad manager, looking at the world cup and his years of expierience at the top of the game. He could always bring in a top assitant with club management expierience..

Anonymous said...

Tim Sherwood reckons Tottenham Hotspur manager Martin Jol is not doing enough work with his players on the training ground.

Monday night's 3-1 defeat at Newcastle has left Spurs mired in the vottom three, and Jol odd-on favourite to become the next Premier League manager to lose his job.

And former Spurs midfielder Sherwood, 38, said: “It simply looks as if they are not being worked with properly on the training pitch.

“I want to give Martin Jol credit but it is just not happening for him this season.”

Jol’s position at the club - and his authority wit the players - has been disastrously compromised by the Tottenham board's clumsily indiscreet attempts to line up a new manager, with Sevilla's Juande Ramos their prime target.

But Jol has also fallen out with Jermain Defoe and - more damagingly - the club's biigest star, Dimitar Berbatov.

The Tottenham hierarchy apparently feel that Jol does not watch enough games to check the opposition and is not giving sufficient time to emerging talent such as Jermaine Jenas and Tom Huddlestone, according to The Sun.

And Sherwood told the newspaper: “I remember when Sol Campbell was at White Hart Lane under George Graham. George would work him so hard heading balls clear, he would have a headache for three days.

“George would put a bib on a kid out on the wing, another in the box and get Sol to head out every ball that came in. It was work until you get it right and that is what could be needed now.

“George just drilled it into Sol what was needed. You need that kind of discipline, managers must work with their players on the training pitch.”

Jol was given £40million to spend on players in the summer, and he did so with relish.

Yet one of English football traditionally big clubs remains stuck in the bottom three.

Now Berbatov is allegedly undermining Jol’s tenuous position by ignoring the manager's instructions. Against Newcastle it took three attempts to get the £10million striker to follow orders and go on as a substitute.

Sherwood added: “As a player you should want to get on and prove people wrong.

“It’s all been a bed of roses since Berbatov came to White Hart Lane, he is so talented he could play for any club in the world. Last season, he produced flashes of brilliance that reminded me of Dennis Bergkamp the way he stroked the ball and the passes he made.

“If I was Alex Ferguson and Manchester United, I’d be looking at him now to see how he reacts when the team is struggling.

“It’s absolutely brilliant when players are flying high and nice things are being written about you. But that kind of attitude gets the manager the sack.

“He is a big character in the dressing room and if he starts poisoning the rest of the boys you have had it. You need players in the trenches in this situation, players who are going to fight for you.

“Pascal Chimbonda is out to see what he can do for Pascal Chimbonda not the team. It’s all very well buying big stars, throw them out on a Saturday and believe it will just happen.

“Martin Jol has done a good job for two seasons but you just can’t throw superstars together, you need to work with them as a team.

"And if he does try to work with them as a team, then the boys are not listening to him. Jol looks like he is resigned to losing his job, his body language says it.

“He is totally honest in what he says but the interview he gave after the Newcastle defeat was the same as the things he was saying a month or so ago.

“Things like, ‘We need a leader’, ‘We need Ledley King back’, ‘We need to stop leaking goals’. You can’t just keep on talking about Ledley coming back, you can’t rely on him to stay fit for long periods.

“Michael Dawson looks like a stranger without Ledley alongside him.

“Younes Kaboul is a good footballer and looks the part but no one can say he is a great defender — he looks as if he can’t be bothered to defend.

“What is annoying is Robbie Keane is in the best form of his life and it is going unnoticed because of what is happening at the back. But who are they going to bring in to replace Jol? Ramos?

“He’s not pulling up trees in Seville. Ramos has done a good job in the past but so had Jol.”

Sherwood, a Premier League title-winning casptain at Blackburn in 1994-95, added: “Human nature tells you that if the manager is showing signs he is resigned to the fact he will not be there, then that will seep into the players as well. It shouldn’t but it does.”

Jermain Defoe has not started a league game this season and has had just 143 minutes playing time despite receiving assurances in the summer he would get equal treatment.

Defoe watched Spurs crash again against Newcastle on TV at his home.

Sherwood chipped in: “I can understand why Defoe fell out with Jol.

“Jermain should have gone out and got another team. But he loves the club. Maybe he was waiting for a change of manager.

“The fans are right behind Jol at the moment. I know that when they turn, it’s a big ask to get them on your side again.

“Maybe the expectation was too high and they can’t live up to it.”
fucking spot on! A pundit that actually gives a shit about spurs

Anonymous said...

sherwoods a C**T hes always had it in for spurs ever since we cut him loose

Anonymous said...

he only thing I’d like to add to this comment would be the fact that for many years Tottenham have been label as soft touch away from home in recent weeks we played well at Bolton and Liverpool and secure only a point, Newcastle this week as per last 10 games either defenders or goal-keeper has let us down . rather than change the manager we should be looking at employing number 2 who can really support Jol because I think Chris isn’t up to job we need someone who very good with defence who help jol the tactic from what I’ve seen over past 15 months when really needed to be smart with both are team selection and tactic we been found out by Chelsea in the fa club and league club semi game v that waste disposal outfit up the road

By the way I just paid a one of those Africa witch doctor based in hackney 20 pound to put good luck spell on spurs.. I’m getting desperate

GRAZZA said...

Say what you like about Sherwood but he was spot on in that studio on monday night - every word.

At no stage did i think it was delivered in a bitter/condescending/patronising/malicious way - i felt it was coming from a man who was genuinely angry about Spurs' plight.

I will also say we are making a bit much of Kings absence, after all we've lost plenty of games and conceded plenty of goals with him right in the thick of the team.

Anonymous said...

and then on itv4 there was seven....
NO MORE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Anonymous said...

No offense intended Harry, just a comment on the AMOUNT of ads! And to the person who told me to get a life, you're missing the point I'm afraid. I know about ads. I work in digital advertising actually. I write most of them.

The thing with ads is that your visitors can over-indulge to the point where they become numb to them. Money on ads derives from click-throughs, not views, so just a little professional advice Harry: get ads that are relevant to the people who read your blog and don't make them so numerous that they become a huge, blinking billboard that can safely be ignored en masse. Get ads that people will notice, ones that are relevant. That was really my point.

Oh, and bring Klinsmann on I reckon. I've been a Jol fan for a long time, but he's been hugely undermined and the only way forward is a clean sweep.

jolsgonemental said...

Is this the Dragons Den forum?

Anonymous said...

I say keep Jol.

Don't hit me.

RobbyK said...

Park Lane Spurs spot on. Martin stays things improve. We aint getting fourth spot this year but we'll get a UEFA cup spot again and I genuinely fancy us to get silverware this year in the form of Joke cup or UEFA cup.

I'll avoid the rotten tomatoes as I say this, but I even have faith that bent will come good (defoe sold in Jan for 10mil though).

Anonymous said...

Hello Scum!

Just to remind what utter shite you are.

You lose to the team our kids beat 2-0 to keep you staring up at us from the relegation zone and then next day we smash someone who beat Ajax (qualified for Champions League unlike you spuds) home and away 7-0.

You are utter shite. Face it. Lower your expectations.


Harry Hotspur said...

1.56 anon.

'The Ads'.

I acknowledge what you say and admit to being a bit of a C&P Ad hooligan.

Certainly in the brave new world (the new site, out before Christmas) there will be less and more tailored.

Your points earlier in the day though about the blog being slow to load are 100% all down to you.

This baby loads immmeadiately on a cruddy screen at the airport/African Nail Bar & Web Cafe/my laptop...

Which does make me only question what class of 'media operation' might you actually be in that is still providing Commodore Vic 20's?

No offence taken, by the way!

elk said...


How can you suggest backing a manager that is hugging relegation? And hanging on to Bent and flogging off Defoe? Mate, do you realise how many points we need to avoid relagation? An you're talking about silverware? Sherwood is a bit of cock nut i think he sees Jol as the founf out con man he is.

elk said...

Sorry brain fell out there.

should read,' Sherwood is a bit of a cock, but I think he see Jol as the found out con man he is.

Anonymous said...

Things are shitty. Things will be shitty again. But this 'sack the manager sharpish' attitude isn't going to help. Yes, we could get someone in and it would improve results slightly, because every single player would be reinvigorated with a desire to keep or earn a place in the side. There may be some strained relationships with Defoe and Berbatov, but we should persevere. After all Jol has done for us, and that is a fucking large amount, we owe it to him not give him shit the very first time the club falls into a problematic phase. David Moyes got his side into the Champions League, and they fell out of that and the UEFA Cup and onto their arse. They just about fought off relegation, and the board did not sack him. Look at them now. Sir Alex had a shite time of it in his early days, but he was not given the heave ho. Look at them now. All I'm saying is that this is Jol's first real crisis, let's see what happens. We owe him AT LEAST that much.

Anonymous said...

Every word Sherwood said was correct, that's why Robbo didn't know where to look.

Anonymous said...

Park Lane Spurs

Your plan is intoxicating son! Jol's first real crisis! Only a long term Yid could describe the messs we're in like that.

Truth is there is no quick fix, but if we do dump BMJ whoever comes in has to be a wizard. Or we are proper fucked.

jolsgonemental said...

Everton are 11th and play shit football.

Anonymous said...

Everton have more chance of getting into Europe than we do this season.

Anonymous said...

Tim Sherwood was a waste of money, Never had an exceptional game as far as I remember! Had it been Paul Walsh then maybe i'd stand up and take notice!!!! Tim Sherwood's comments aren't welcome in my book... Should fuck off back to his Forest!!!

Anonymous said...

As for the hate of tim sherwood and him never having a good game. Are u forgetting his goal against the scum which led us to our last victory against them.

Anonymous said...

learn by now losers. it doesnt matter who you have and how much money your sugar daddy has, bottom line is you ruin careers of great and expensive players.
might as well let harry hotspur relegate you to div 2. be cheaper that way

Anonymous said...

I agree with most out there Sherwood should pull his head in. He played for money and with no effort or heart. To put it bluntly Dawson has been the biggest problem. He either needs a rocket or to be dropped so he can have long hard look at himself example of his shitty performaces are the last to games. He either pumps it long under no pressure to no one or ball watches which leads to us leeking goals.. Not impressed Dawson have a long hard look at yourself...