Robinson. Made some cracking saves. Sammy the Sealion then undid the good work by flapping at a fish thrown at his right fin........... with his left.
Chimbonda. MOTM Bar the stupid invisible card waving nonsense. Do these clowns not watch the telly? You get booked for this. Ran his socks off.
Dawson. In the trenches. Has to clear the ball into Row Z more.
Kaboul. Turned away from a shot like a scared, chickeny girl. Twice. Idiot. Wuss.
Lee. Hooked up with Bale well enough.
Bale. Showreel goal.
Huddlestone. Good 1st half. Wasn't enough.
Malbranque. Relatively awful.
Jenas. The only call he answered was nature.
Lennon. Wrong bl**dy wing, Jol you knuckle headed babboon.
Keane. Didn't get enough, didn't make enough.
Bent. Perhaps a better foil for Berbatov? We'll never know. 16.5 million groans.
Berbatov. Should've scored. Twice. Thanks for that spellbinding insight, Harry.
Where the hell is Taarabt? Are you saving him for rainy day? Have you looked outside recently? It's been tipping it down for over a month now.
Harry told you this lot would require ingenuity & wit.
You gave away our home advantage with a five man midfield and a lack of ambition that left me incensed.
The only tip I can give you and Hughton is if you want to look more stupid for our next game you might dress up as Mariachi Singers.
Your limited assortment of tactics are not working. They are in actual fact, countering the inherant talent that you have at your disposal.
It is true that the manager cannot be held personally responsible for the finishing of a player, but he ought be answerable for the absence of steel in a team.