Sunday, September 30, 2007

Tottenham Hotspur vs Aston Villa: Q&A With A Villain

Monday night is Villa Night. We're all experts on Tottenham so let's get a chap in who knows about them, eh?

JP Fear is Editor of Vital Aston Villa and owner of the Vital Network.

No talking at the back there and keep yout feet of the seats.

When Harry Met The Fear.

Jonathan, you wake up to discover it's all been a dream. Martin O is now Martin J. You wipe the cold sweat from your brow. How do you feel?
Ahem, would I never wake up if that happened, although Jol seems like a nice bloke, he is sooooooo very boring when he speaks, not to mention negative tactics and strange changes to the team despite the array of attacking options. I REALLY hope that Spurs keep Jol because I think he is holding you back like a led balloon and with Villa trying to get back up to the top six as well, that suits me fine!

I do think Martin O'Neill still has it all to do and a lot to prove as well though, I'm really hopeful he is the one who will build a great team and get us competing - but the lack of transfer activity in the summer has raised a few doubts. I think a bit of realism has come into the Villa dream but I'm sure he will be given more than enough time to show what he can do and that he is such a genuine guy, if he doesn't feel he is making progress he'd be far more likely to walk than be pushed.

Who's your most improved player so far this season?
Gareth Barry goes from strength to strength but that is what I'd expect anyway, he is quality and at last is getting his England chance. Most improved? Bit difficult to say with the season being so early, it is also a young team so a good few of them are still learning. I'd say the stand out player has been Ashley Young. He came with a big price tag and that raised a few eyebrows in the game, but he's shrugged that off and is looking a very useful player indeed and the pace we have in the side does frighten defences, if not for a lack of an out-and-out goalscorer - I think we'd be a very useful team.

Magic wand time. You're (at long last) in charge of Aston Villa, what three big changes would you make?
I did apply for the job once when Doug was in charge. Never got an answer! I offered to manage the club for £50 000 a year + I needed steel capped boots to kick the players up the arses and some ear muffs so I could just nod my head when Dougy was talking but not have to listen to what he was saying. Strange I didn't get an interview.

I'd make it compulsory for the manager to spend the money available and ban cheap purchases of players like Marlon Harewood. I'd bring in two strikers, probably sulky boy Anelka being one of them because although he is a berk, he is a berk who can score out of nothing, with our supply I'm sure he'd have a field day. I'd introduce public flogging for the players if they don't beat the Blues!!
All in all, good job I'm not in charge!

Villa this season. What will you achieve?
Top ten. If we'd spent in the summer with the league wide open, we could have leapt up to the top six but without a 15-20 goal a season striker, I'm not convinced we can. Maybe if injuries are kind to us but it is a big ask for a young side and a squad so small.

What's the worst thing about supporting Villa?
Supporting Villa is an honour and a privilege. To be a part of the Villa community fills me with great pride, can think of nothing at all bad about it.

Have you ever been to White Hart Lane?
No, I'm a season ticket holder but don't get to many away games at all for many reasons.

Which Premiership team would you disband out of pure malice, given the chance?
I'd get lynched if I didn't say Birmingham City I guess. I'd also like to ban Roman Abramovich from Chelsea and see how they get on without the Russian playboys cash. I really do despise that man and his ilk!

If you could sign one Spurs player who would it be?
Dimitar Berbatov. Quality player who I think would look much better in claret and blue!
If you could get shot of one Villa player no questions asked, who would it be?

Stiliyan Petrov, came for big money and apart from a great debut v West Ham at Upton Park he really hasn't delivered at all, very disappointing

What's the score going to be on Monday?
Spurs are on a terrible run and that worries me because when a team is doing badly, Villa always seem to oblige them by rolling over. I do think we are a far tougher team now though, even though the game was poor against Everton (Everton really shocked me as to how lacklustre they were) we still were able to come out with a credible 2-0 win. Those are the sort of games we used to lose. So I'll go for a nice 1-0 to the Villa, although wouldn't be gutted if we came away with a draw.


Anonymous said...

Good idea H. When are you interviewing Levy or better still Ramos? I think can beat Villa but if we do lose, it'll be horrible. All those 125 Blackburn shirts being hurled onto the pitch in disgust won't look good for the cameras.

Anonymous said...

I'm depressed thinking about the fal out if we lose too. All this Jol business has nade us a laughing stock. Can you tell me Mr Hotspur or anyone else, is there any truth to the rumour that the programme is going to be a tenner for this game? And deos levy want to lube me up before I buy one?

elk said...

It is £10 wth a percentage going to the Bill Nich Fund. Or Daniel Wants His Tennis Court Resurfacing Fund - I cant rememeber which

Anonymous said...

C'mon guys, this 125 year Anniversary match is supposed to be a big, celebratory occasion. All I see is people complaining about the price of programs, it'l be worth a lot more in the future anyway.

All of you who are able to go have a great time, it's gonna be a very special night for Tottenham Hotspur.

Anonymous said...

They can keep it at £10.

And when is it going to be worth £10, let alone more? You're dreaming mate. Another rip off. The feel good factor sat in the relegation zone has deserted me I'm afraid. The shirt (125th) is horrible and a really cynical cash in. The shirt for the centenury was just the reg one embroidered and that was worn all season. this f*cking nasty Blackburn job is only being worn once and at home to Villa? you have to be some mug to drop fifty quid on that. Sorry to get all morose, but that's how I feel. They are really squeezing every penny this season. I bought a 'vintage' shirt as a protest move. To remind me of happier days and it was made of cotton!!

Anonymous said...

11.48, when you were a wee lad/y did you go to peoples party's with a pin and pop all the balloons?

My point in that the whole aim of tomorrow is to celebrate the 125 (not so) glorious years of Tottenham Hotspurs' existance, so lets not start ruining the fun for everyone else, eh?

(BTW the only shirt I've ever had is the yellow Holsten one so don't label me some sort of naive, money throwing mug)


jolsgonemental said...


a smearing of lube is £2.50 extra.

As an added treat Spurs have roped in a number of Spurs stars to apply lube to the fans who take advantage of this once in a life time offer, former greats such as Gary Doherty, Jason Dozzell and Justin Edinburgh.

So a bargain I am sure you will agree.

Harry Hotspur said...

I am advised that unopened lube, still in commemorative packaging and in mint condition is currently fetching £8.47 on ebay.

One signed by Dozzel did go for £7.80, but the signature turned out to be a forgery and it resold at £30.

Anonymous said...

Jiz Monkeys

4 Ever Hopeful said...

JGM reminds me, how about a blog on the worst ever player to play for the first team?

My vote goes to Gooner David Jenkins who was a straight swap for Jimmy Robertson around 1969.

Rumour had it that Tottenham just wanted Robertson out quickly, I cannot afford the legal bills so won't quote the full facts, anyway Jenkins was unbelievably awful.

Harry Hotspur said...

I can appreciate the balloon popper's ambivalence toward the celebrations...

Is it a good idea to have a 'specific match' to mark the 125? Commercially, old Danny can't of thought it through. If Spurs lose the Megastore'll be deserted.

Apart from angry mob members buying Celebratory Matchday Matches in order to torch unattended vehicles/stewards.

Can anyone tell me, what happened for the 100 years celebrations? I can't remember. I was living abroad at the time anyway and the papers they gave us in the Thai prison had the sports section torn out as part of the guvna's 'mind games'...

I have all the home programmes from that season but frankly it'd be quicker if anyone could save me the journey to my dad's and the dimly lit dice with death that is his attic and let me know.

Anonymous said...

I think we waved rattles H. :)

jolsgonemental said...

Not the brightest move marking the 125 celebration with a competitive league match. celebrating 125 'glorious' years with a loss and a a bottom three slot is a worryingly ridiculous situation we may find ourselves in.

in hindside Pimp Levy would have been better off with a whole anniversary match drafting in the old boys for a friendly kick about and the extra revenue that would entail. kerching.

Its going to get very ugly on monday night methinks. 30000 ripped off fans are going to want some return....

4 ever hopeful..., my mind doesnt go back to 69, a limitation largly due to my not being alive then.

worringly my mind struggles to go back 5 years and i have no such excuse.

Anonymous said...


dannyboy said...

centenary year 1982, we won the FA Cup! what chance a repeat this year?!

come on spurs, you fecking owe us a celebratory performance....still....


Harry Hotspur said...

Roll on Rovers!

Vinny said...

Hit the nail on the head when he says would like Martin Jol to stay in charge of Spurs to prevent us reaching our potential...sad state of affairs when all non-Spurs fans are havin a laugh at us like this.

On top of that the farting around that lead to us losing out on Martin Petrov for 4.7 million is coming back to haunt us, what a combination him and Bale would have made on that left side. Did anyone see his speed and the way he tore up the toon?...Grrrrrrr!!!

Anonymous said...

Oi Harry, there appears to be a phantom name caller in our midst.

His latest offenses include 'Jiz-Monkeys' (his trademark, so it would seem) and 'idiot'.

Short 'n' Sweet? No. Short 'n' Sad? Very much so.

Ban him.

Anonymous said...

I fear that the 125 year Anniversary match, with the show that Spurs will put on from 7:30pm to 8pm, could make Villa play better than normal!!!

If so, and if we lose to the Villa then Jol should be sacked within a few hours after the game!!!

Summerspur said...


Has this site become a drop in centre for manic depressives?

You don't have to buy the bloody programme, you are not obliged to buy the shirt!!!

JGM i am most disappointed to read that you are not as old as i thought. I had a mental picture of an Albert Steptoe type character angrily typing away there in old cold and draughty JGM towers.

You have really pissed on my strawberries.

Anonymous said...

How old is jolsgonemental & Harry Hotspur? Plus I noticed recently through this site that Harry only started supporting our club since Bill Nicholson's testimonial.

I've been supporting our club and going to home games since 1981, and since the first three games I wil no longer put up with rubbish/ mid table, standard of play!

So I can give my views with a lot of authority. I think that Jol should be sacked for the following reasons:

* team clearly not fit for the first three games!

* players not playing as a unit, and not keeping shape.

* defenders not defending set pieces properly and letting in soft goals

* Berbatov not scoring goals - 2nd season problem i.e teams have worked him out. He must rise above this and develop his style of play.

* looking like a mid table/ relegation team rather than a top 4 or 6 side.

Jol talking bollocks after bad results.

jolsgonemental said...

good point, well made. mr anon 6.07pm

we AGAIN started the season undernourished and not fit mentally, much like last season.

the importance of a good start? I will tell you:

last season after 8 games we had a grand total of 8 points. The arsehole had 17. 9 points difference

At the end of the season we had 60 points whilst the arsehole had 68. 8 points difference.

for those lacking a GCSE in maths, this translates to us managing more points and performing better than them over the next 30 games of the season (ie the VAST majority of the season again).

interesting no?

So the dont 'worry we did the same last year' comments really fucking wind me up. oh super, we have fucked a very realistic chance at top 4 up in the first 8 games again, superduper, brill, hallelujah,

Tom The Yid said...

don't think its a good idea to have this big celebration game at a time like this, especially with villa having the opportunity to expose our tactical weaknesses so yet another dissapointment for the season. think we should have had a friendly at the start of the season instead and done it then. Hopefully we'll show some pride and come away with a result

Anonymous said...

I'm Mr anon 6.07pm. Great views by jolsgonemental and Tom The Yid, which I fully agree with.