Wednesday, August 02, 2006

Duff's (75) Grand Arrival In Full

The emotional arrival of Newcastle's latest financial black (& white) hole from our man at the scene, Harry Hotspur.

Literally hundreds of Incapacity Benefit claimants fought off the usual magnetism of Trisha and This Morning to join the long term unemployed in welcoming Damien Duff to St Jame's Park.

One life long supporter of three girlfriends, and nineteen children held back tears as well as an illegal fighting dog to say, ' I cannae believe it man, The canny lad is gonna trouser weekly what me an' the bairns gross annually of tha social like - fair fooks to 'im! '

Duff waved from the moral highground crying, ' I just want to be rolling in it again!''I've had problems for the last tree or four months because it didn't look as if I was gonna get paid enough.

''I couldn't go to Spurs, it's as simple as that, when I go for a paycheck, I put my heart and soul into it, and for the past tree years I have been a fan of Chelsea money. There was no way I could play against my old benefactors in a wage capped squad.'

Glenn Roeder made a brief statement, but to be frank it was like listening to a radio that wasn't tuned in properly, so we're unable to provide any quotes from him. Something about a finish in the last four of the Inter Coacoa Cup was 'well on the cards' now or similar.For the full story, contact Duff, Duff, & NotEnuff, Accountants To The Stars

12 comments:

tony da tiger said...

brilliant.

Anonymous said...

very good harry, where u been son - private eye magazine??

Anonymous said...

Great stuff Harry, look forward to reading and laughing some more during the coming season.

Yid15.

Anonymous said...

welcome back 'arry

Anonymous said...

we need a fourth striker if we ARE all going on a european tour - mido would be value at the runoured 3 million

Anonymous said...

If Terry Dixon's good enough for the Republic of Ireland first team surely he's good enough as cover. Or maybe he's not the 'right' sort of striker to be cover for Berbatov? Anyway,

COME ON YOU SPURS!

COME ON YOU SPURS!

COME ON YOU SPURS!

Anonymous said...

Yiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiid!

Anonymous said...

Dixon is one to watch - perhaps we'll see more of him in a green shirt?????

Anonymous said...

good stuff

mabutt said...

Defoe scores again! Go on JD, this is our season, I can feel it!

Anonymous said...

Defoe's on fire alright, but he had a good pre season last time and then fell flat. I really want him to put at least one in at Bolton and get off on the right (or left) foot!

Anonymous said...

Defoe has done well to stay on. Keep the faith!