Tuesday, May 20, 2008

The Latest Emil Danchev Interview, Translated

A talented footballer and his pet money grabbing toad from Planet Awful

"Money is not a priority for Berbatov. He just walks his road of progress step by step and now it is normal at the age of 27 to look for a new challenge. Dimitar Berbatov develops also as personality, not only as a footballer. His intentions about his foundation are clear for a long time now."


Translated: The collosal avalanche of money in transfer offers I'd anticipated has not been forthcoming. 'Ahem, my client is not only a footballer of some note you know, but a wonderful painter, accomplished flower arranger and er.. poet to boot...'


Asked if tomorrow's Champions League final between Chelsea and Manchester United could appear too decisive about Berbatov's career, Emil Danchev answered: "Answer to this question could give only the managers of these two clubs. Although, probably not, if I'm not in Moscow at the moment."


Translated: 'Oh yeah, that cobblers... Of course, Rodney, as we say in the old agent game, Bonnet de Douche.' Which means is he's about as much in contact with Sir Alex or Avram Grant as I am with Danny La Rue. (I'm not. Stop it.)

"There is no fixed price for sale in Berbatov's contract. I have my own vision for the things, but I can certainly say the price of Berba will be what the market and talks make it to be."


Translated: 'Iron. Irrrrrrrrrrrrrrrron! Not the 'orse, 'arold. You wouldn't leave me, wud'ya, Harold? Irrrrrrrrrrrrrron!

72 comments:

Anonymous said...

mate why the hell do you claim to have an exclusive all the time? You take everything you ever post from COYS or other sites, sad sad sad a fvcking mug

biz said...

he's got you in one!

shanemac said...

Sorry Anon 21:16,

Did COYS get the exclusive rights to that interview with Emil Danchev while we weren't looking?

Harry Hotspur said...

First of all, you are, to the best of my knowledge, not my mate.

Two, this interview comes from a bulgarian site http://international.ibox.bg/news/id_1691448088

Three chase my ambulance again you twit and I will humiliate your village idiot ass further.

Harry Hotspur said...

Shanemac,

Cyber pondllfe like this are hysterical. Well said. I will send one million in any currency direct to the front door of anyone (sellotaped to a Fortnum's Hamper of their choice) who can identify the word 'exclusive' in this post.

*sighs*

onedavemackay said...

Harry's real mate is Paul O'Grady.

elk said...

21.16 You and your other sig are "TOAST".

a fan said...

Is that Biz as in C*ck Biz? My Bizniz is cockz? 'Mate' Piz Off.

BTY said...

Why do these people get so worked up whenever you post ?ffs they need to seek help. Anyway danchev and mugusov can fucrightov coz they pissmeov

Bruce Castle said...

Its not about the money. I knew it.

Why is everybody so quick to judge player's agents these days?

I mean, he looks honest doesn't he?

Harry Hotspur said...

Dear Robbing Barsteward,

How dare you use today's date.

Yours sincerely,

The Roman Calender Society.

Anonymous said...

Dick Van Dyke is still in work I see.

Harry Hotspur said...

Bruce, you come on here to attack me personally or you post elsewhere. Them's the rules. Humour? Football chat? Wrong venue. Get out.

Anyway, who have we got at the weekend anyway? I lose track.

grittyspur said...

That Danchev bloke looks like 'Boris' in Bullwinkle!

Chemical Ali said...

"Why do these people get so worked up whenever you post ?"

At a guess mate,

A gay minority who Harry actually pays in order to provide the rest of us with laughs.

bruce castle said...

Harry, I am a quite fortress that will not attack, even when provoked (a bit like Reading last season).

Harry Hotspur said...

Alright, Bruce, you're IN.

;)

BTY said...

"Alright, Bruce, you're IN."
for some reason when i read that, it was in a croc dundee accent

Alistair said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Harry Hotspur said...

"I am after all, an entertainer..."

Was it

A) Max Wall

B) Ollie Reed

C) Larry Grayson

D) HH

Anonymous said...

ok lots of cr*p 2nite as far as who we should be buying dos santos and veloso should be top two targets and most of budget should go on getting them.Then we need a keeper Lopez would be ace and a top centre half.

Anonymous said...

That's pretty sad, really. This guy has such a hold on Berba they even buckle their belts up in the same direction. ;-)

I wonder how much of the interview was lost in translation - maybe not much at all. The cryptic nature of Dantchev's responses are meant to raise questions, not answer them. The intention is to arouse curiosity, not satisfy it.

So, here we have a kind of Svengali figure and his charge (and no doubt he does indeed charge - because his services come at a price). It's hard to know if the hyperbole about Berba's personality is merely part of the sales marketing spin, or if it's something more sinister. I'm inclined to think the latter.

A sort of 'Cult of Berba' is emerging. Berba as Renaissance Man. Berba as a latter-day da Vinci. Berba the polymath. Berba the legend who plays football for now, but is capable of all things tomorrow.

Berba, currently of Spurs, but Berba the will-o-the-wisp artist / thinker /athlete / philanthropist / man of the moment. The aura of mystery grows. We look on in awe, agape.

Somewhere in Bulgaria, prayers are being said before Berba posters; candles lit before Berba icons; offerings made to Berba figurines. An orphanage waits to be built. Academies petition anxiously for Berba's endorsement. Products are submitted for approval to the Berba brand.

I'd suggest to Berba that he change the company he keeps. I'd like to think that there's more of the humble artist in him than the ambitious celebrity or the self-important demi-god. Because I want to believe that the professional and personal steps he will take are largely not of his own design, but of his agent's.

But I can't help coming to the opinion that (just as he is in the photograph) Berba - rather than being unwillingly dragged along, or even manipulatively led by Dantchev - is happily walking with him side-by side.

9.37 Anon

Bruce Castle said...

You might not be far off with the cult of the Berba creation. He's starting with a football school in a Bulgarian Village.

http://www.sofiaecho.com/article/berbatov-to-open-soccer-school-in-bulgarian-village/id_29396/catid_71

BTY said...

good stuff anon very eloquently put.
so in other words he's a c**t

df said...

if you ask me (and nobody has) he looks like the swedish chef from the muppets and Josef Fritzl

Anonymous said...

put de chicken in de oooven

Anonymous said...

bruce castle -

See how that article you link to describes Berba as 'erstwhile Totenham Hotspur striker'? I wonder how they know that?

Unless, of course, they use 'erstwhile' to signify 'that period after the Carling Cup win until the end of the season (and a fair bit before it - probably from around the January transfer window)'.

To be fair, quite a few Spurs players became 'erstwhile' after that cup final win. Even so.

Oh, and get this: 'local media reported that Berbatov would be the new face of Bulgarian First Investment Bank'.

It's so not about the money.

9.37 Anon

bruce castle said...

Anon 23:12, I think the Bulgarian press are using words like erstwhile for no other reason than to stoke the flames of speculation. I am sure the Bulgarian papers are riding high on the rumors about their captain marvel as well to sell more papers. But only to inform more readers, mind you, not to make more money.

onedavemackay said...

Has Bruce Castle taken over this Blog ?

Is he the illegitimate offspring of Bruce Forsyth and Roy Castle ?

Harry Hotspur said...

Michael you weren't actually good enough to qualify this time, but do call again dear. When you have a point. Any point will do.

Anonymous said...

In other news, 'Pop-folk singer Ann-G, best known for her salacious music singles and interest in keeping fit, will be representing the American vinyl siding firm Variform in its new Bulgarian billboard advert campaign.'

Hey, and Kiss and Metallica are going to Sofia.

Football schools, orphanages, soft-porn, hard-rock... Welcome to the EU.

9.37 Anon

Harry Hotspur said...

First Investment Bank. FIB. Aha. The plit thockens.

Harry Hotspur said...

ODM, it appears Dedication may be an issue... Security have been notified in advance...

Bruce Castle said...

Onedave get on the google. Your guess was wrong. I don't break guiness world records with the size of my chin.

Simon said...

Agent: "maybe movies are a nxt move, I have been in contact to the director of oceans 21 and Andy Gacia is unavailable, maybe he become stand in asswipe of this movie, yes?
Come on Berbatov, make up your mind, i'm sick of hearing sh*t about this, if yo are so hot property where are the buyers?? COYS

soo said...

h, please tell me you are scripting the harry haters. they are hilarious my friend. good luck from mauritius!

Simon said...

Nice one harry, it looks like the movie version of Wind in the Willows starring Frog and Andy Garcia!

Harry Hotspur said...

"there is nothing - absolutely nothing - half so much worth doing as simply messing about in boats."

Jimmy The Saint

onedavemackay said...

Bruce. Sorry I really am sooooo slow these days.
Anyway welcome.

Anonymous said...

Please please please Harry answer me this, why is Dantchevs hand stuck in his pocket and not up his a*se, Dantchev seems like a blood sucking Ventriloquist who won't shut up whether Berbas playing well or not, sorry my mistake, thats most asshole agents!

onedavemackay said...

Was Dantchev one of The Village People ?

Tom Osborne said...

"I can certainly say the price of Berba will be what the market and talks make it to be."

The phrase "no shit sherlock" has rarely been so appropriate.

This aside, I find it rather disturbing that he continually refers to his client as "Berba". What a tosspot.

Anonymous said...

Feck him I'm more interested in what left winger and defensive midfielder were going to get than whether Berby stays. Great player but Tottenham have had alot of them throughout the years they come and go and we always survive and push on playing the Tottenham way. COYS

Anonymous said...

problem is Berba started humble then began believing the press hype about how good he was and his Swedish muppet chef of an agent saw the opportunity to leverage the value of his clients stock. It aint about the money its about Berbas vision of a brave new world of Brand Berbatov and the clothing chain and after shave product range that will follow with the football academy and not forgeting the obligatory foundation for the wellbeing of the poor and needy.............. yawnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn yeah right.... its all about the money...

Unfortunately this desire to reach the moral highground does not stretch to the fans of the club that helped make him this icon inwaiting.. in fact when it comes to how to treat the fans of the club that has made him its the moral lowground that he so admirably fills...........

BTY said...

I've been saying for ages on here that danchev does what berba wants him to do and its nice to see people finally getting real about it. i mean who is the bigger wanker the geezer doing what he's paid to do or the bloke that pays him to do it? you don't shoot the messenger do you(although i would like to give him the "sparta"boot down a bottemless pit)there is a gap in the market in bulgaria for stars/celebs(coz its a shite hole)and they are wanting to capitilise,simple as money,money,money

BTY said...

all that said i actually think he will end up staying.I can't see any club that has the money we want,taking a chance on him,thats why we managed to get him in the first place.as much as he's enhanced his reputation as a talented player he has once again tainted it with his attitude(not warming up for jol etc)so who is going to pay big bucks for him?will he stay because he decides that we are on the verge of something under Ramos,well this is what he will say ,but the reality will be that there wasn't the interest the papers,his agent and himself expected.

TMWNN said...

Give it a week or two and I'm sure we'll see the headline "Spurs are pricing Berba out of move".
The clubs that do want him are obviously playing the waiting game and I can't see Levy taking less than 25M for him. To break the stand off I reckon the best move is to buy a top class replacement anyway and if he does stay, sell Bent.
I just hope if he does stay, probably a great big IF, he loses the attitude.
Fucked off with the whole thing.

Michael said...

How pathetic that you delete comments to avoid embarassment HH! Couldnt stand the truth? Seriously, the fact that you think your quick-witted and can humiliate someone on your joke of a website clearly shows that the Journalism degree you were so hoping for, quickly vanished after you were bullied out of uni after you were caught giving the Headmaster a handjob. Then you sat at home and made your own little site, hoping to get as much pleasure as you can out of humiliating the life out of so many poor victims. Congratualtions "dear".

onedavemackay said...

I agree with bty. I still think there's a chance he'll stay given the fact that there are no more than 6 clubs worldwide that could afford him.

Of course it's win win for Berba as if he stays he'll get more dosh and become a legend at the great shrine of North London football.

COYS

onedavemackay said...

Michael. You come over as a bit sad. What's the problem ?

Maybe we can help

Christopher said...

It seems to me Harry you have more feckless cock nibblers coming to you site as every week goes by.

People who:

a) Clearly can't read...I for one didn't see the word exclusive anywhere in the title so why people still deem it necessary to complain that you have "nicked" it is beyond me

b) Have nothing better to do aside from verbal masterbation because they feel they have wasted their time visiting your site...again

Fool me once shame on you, fool me twice shame on me.

Fool me everytime you put up a post to the extent I STILL need to come on and slag you off because I fell for coming on your blog AGAIN and you should assume I am an inbred Arsenal fan pretending to support the Yids.

I have read that back...it makes little sense but fuck it. I'm bored of reading shitty quips from dipshits on here.

Bring back the friendly banter!

BTY said...

michael- what exactly is you're problem? if this blog annoys you why come on here? i don't get it, if i come across a site i don't like or agree with i just say to myself what a load of bollocks and find one i do like.i don't sit there and write some stupid little rant.i could imagine you at the keyboard ,fuming to you're little irate self whilst writing that pants as if Harry had hurt one of you're family or screwed you're mrs or something, calm down,go for a walk ,get some fresh air but give it a rest coz all it does is make YOU look like a twat

Anonymous said...

i am a sometime contributor on this blog and i propose the best way to deal with these guys who post in an abusive manner - IGNORE them!

Simple.

Maybe not in this thread as it is too late, but for future reference, simply ignore them

By reacting to their inflammatory comments you are merely giving them what they want.

Keep it Spurs and ignore the idiots

biz said...

And this is what I love about the site! The army of HH lovers who love to arselick him because they might get some brownie points of Harry complementing them slightly. And lets be honest here bty, the one who looks more annoyed and at the same time coming to Harry's aid is in fact you.

BTY said...

jiz-i'm not in the slightest bit annoyed mate tbh i was hoping for a response from michael because i am genuinely intrigued as to why some people have got such a problem with the blog?so what is yours? do you have a spurs blog yourself and want spurs chat domination or something?as i said i'm honestly interested why ya hate it so much so let me know.As for me, with no offense to anyone i couldn't give a toss about harry personally ,he's not my family or a mate or anything to me,but he does provide a place for me to skive off work n chat bout spurs and the more of them the better i say.Hope thats cleared that up mate.

onedavemackay said...

Lets hear it for the HH brown nosers.
Actually, all of us contributors pretending to love the site are clones. Harry has a multi personality disorder in which he thinks he is many different people who only come to life. I am really Harry, but so is 9.37, dannyboy , jolsgonental, bty, sidney wale and all the others . The only REAL contributors are Harry's haters.

onedavemackay said...

sorry that should have read : that only come to life on this blog.

But that's a clone for you

BTY said...

lol odm-3 cheers for the hh brown nosers,fucking funny mate,we should get t-shirts printed or something

Anonymous said...

All this Berba stuff is getting so boring now....
What i will say that its shame he doesn't have the same class off the pitch, take Steven Gerrard after the game i came out of the ground and saw all fans trying to get autographs from players i am lucky that i park in same car park as players :) anyway back to my story, Tainio was there signing autos and talking to fans and i asked him if he would be there come next season he said no. Stevie G was awesome true pro he signed and posed for pictures and waited until every fan stopped asking him, he even got back out of his car to carry on doing same thing again!!. as for Berba he couldn't wait to get out car park.
i cant wait until transfer window is closed........
Big Belly

Park Lane Nomad said...

Agreed, Gerrard shook more Spurs fans hands than the entire spurs squad that day.

Anonymous said...

LMAO You kill me Harry, I for one love coming here for some light hearted comments from your good self, Some people need to lighten the fuck up, Jesus we are all spurs fans putting up with the same false promises season after season, reading grape vine spoofs week after week, makes a change to get exactly what it says on the tin sometimes.
Keep it up my good man.

C.O.Y.S.

Christopher said...

Does anyone else think that Mr Danchev bears a striking resemblance to the Austrian Mr Fritz?

Anonymous said...

The nasty comments are made by those who are not allowed to post elsewhere. harry rarely modorates as presumably it slows the punchy nature of his blog. interseting that the shelf has given up, he couldn't even field basic views towards the end without some know it all telling him to **** off. these people ae exactly the same people we groan inside when we discover we have to sit next to them at a game.

shanemac said...

Thanks for that BigBelly.
Tainio's class. I'm going to miss him.

BimitarDerbatov said...

f*ck it Arsenal appear to have snapped up Nasri for £12

that boy is a serious talent..

ah well at least we haev Modric..

BTY said...

yeah good comment anon,that sure told me, what a moron.

Anonymous said...

TO HARRY: Do you have any special offers on a new spurs shirt with MODRIC on the back? im so want one!

Anonymous said...

You are a bit of a pillock to be honest. You try to be funny, but almost everything I read on your site, written by yourself, is cringe worthy.

FunkyEarWax said...

Harry.......love your work!

I'm always amazed at the reaction of the 'anonymous' on your site not least the "exclusive" and "you stole this" fools suckling at the teat of sites like COYS.

I'd much rather read your comments which tend to take the general media hype with a much needed pinch of salt and an added dash of humour.

Children like these don't have a creative bone in their body. They'd much rather run around pretending they are connected to the club vicariously through their weak arse "exclusives". If they were any good they'd be writing for the press instead of piecing together a blog in their mum’s basement!

Every time I've finished laughing at one of your posts I save a little for their comments.

KEEP UP THE GREAT WORK!

Anonymous said...

thanks parklane

your welcome shanemac..


Well said Funky!!!!.......
Big Belly

Anonymous said...

Sorry bty - I meant biz.

Anonymous said...

get the new spurs home shirt for under £20, go to www.getyourkit.co.uk for details